I have been a member of the Johnson family for over 60 years. To me, the staff at the funeral home is like a huge family. I have the privilege of being friends with the owners of the funeral home and the other staff, like the funeral director. I have to tell you, this funeral home was one of the nicest places I have ever been in. The people in the funeral home are all the nicest people you could ever meet.
Our own research for the funeral home found that the staff are mostly nice people, but they do have the tendency to get defensive when I express my opinion. That’s because I get defensive too. Most of the staff get defensive about the opinions of others, and they do it in a subtle way, with a subtle smile, a gentle tone, or a slight shake of the head. The reason I get defensive is because I have the tendency to get defensive and say something negative about someone.
This isn’t really a topic people usually talk about. But my wife and I actually had a funeral service here a few years ago, and I remember the funeral director’s voice breaking. He was crying and saying, “I know how I feel. I know how I felt when I walked into that funeral home and looked down at the casket that wasn’t there. It was empty, and it was so sad. I was so sad.
I just got a little choked up listening to the casket attendants say how much they missed the man. He was a man that I knew, a man that was good to me, a man that loved his family. I remember feeling so sad. It’s like you take a piece of you away from someone that you know and care about. I think that makes sense.
So many people are upset about the loss of someone that they knew, a loved one. I have a feeling that this was no different. The funeral home was the closest thing we had to a family in that moment. And it wasn’t just one person. It’s a sentiment that is shared by many that feel like the loss of a loved one is so sudden and so devastating.
I don’t think it is just that you lose a family member but that you lose a person that you were really close to. It’s a lot more than that. The funeral home was also the place where I spent my first three years of my life. I remember the sound of the music on the floor and how comforting it made me feel. I remember waking up in the morning and seeing the sun streaming in through the window.
So if you’re a parent, or a friend of a parent, a sibling, a relative, or perhaps a close friend, you are well aware that there are a lot of people who have lost loved ones. They are so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so many people who have lost loved ones.
When we lose someone, we feel like that person is just gone. It’s not like someone is on a cross. It’s not like someone is on a boat.It’s just something that happens that we just can’t remember. We don’t have a name for it yet, and we don’t have a cure so we just try and deal with it and survive.
That’s John’s problem as a family member of a family member. He cant “deal” with it because he can’t remember the life of the person that died or remember their death. He feels like he doesn’t really have a role in their life because he can’t remember the lives of the people he lost. He’s a part of these people’s lives but he can’t really say something to them.